Such a great essay - man you have killer insight as to how your patients relate to you. I think it’s great that we patients can indeed “vent” to staff and still keep our docs on a plane that, frankly they don’t deserve. But I need to at times so I can get thru whatever surgery I have going (remember I’ve had 62 surgeries over my 60 years!). I remember my surgeon asking my wife if I ever complained. I rarely do but when I do it’s dark. So I need that people pleasing skill from time to time to be able to get thru to make my doc glad I was a patient. It’s a silly thing, I know, but I’ve survived some incredibly close calls. Thank you as always for your perspective. By the way, anytime my addictions patients would say, “you saved my life…“ I would always remind them that God save their lives and I got to be there to watch it happen. It’s very empowering for them. And kept me off the pedestal as needed! 😉
When I was in the hospital for a month to undergo a stem cell transplant (for MDS), several of my nurses teased me about being so upbeat. I wasn't feeling too good, but complaining about it made me feel worse. When it was time to leave the hospital, I was terrified because I wasn't ready to care for myself. Daily trips to the clinic for blood draws and infusions helped me adjust. But as those have dwindled off, I do kind of miss the intense attention. I thought I was crazy!
A thoughtful and thought-provoking piece as always, Stacy, thank you.
As someone who never complained, didn't asked very many questions at all, and was fairly optimistic throughout chemo and surgery, I too wonder if there's more. I just don't know what it might be. I wonder if you'll write more on this topic.
Thank you, Barry. I'm mulling it over and hoped to get some feedback here in the comments. I updated the post with a story that a chaplain shared with me. It's not a "normal" human interaction but I'm not sure we every acknowledge that?
That's interesting, Emily and exactly what I wondered.
The doctor-patient relationship is a strange one that neither party chooses yet is so important. The performative aspect on both sides can hinder communication and impact treatment. Yet we never have a DTR conversation. Should we? And when?
The brave face put on for friends and family is another discussion entirely. I wrote about it in one of my first posts around the time the Barbie movie came out.
Such a great essay - man you have killer insight as to how your patients relate to you. I think it’s great that we patients can indeed “vent” to staff and still keep our docs on a plane that, frankly they don’t deserve. But I need to at times so I can get thru whatever surgery I have going (remember I’ve had 62 surgeries over my 60 years!). I remember my surgeon asking my wife if I ever complained. I rarely do but when I do it’s dark. So I need that people pleasing skill from time to time to be able to get thru to make my doc glad I was a patient. It’s a silly thing, I know, but I’ve survived some incredibly close calls. Thank you as always for your perspective. By the way, anytime my addictions patients would say, “you saved my life…“ I would always remind them that God save their lives and I got to be there to watch it happen. It’s very empowering for them. And kept me off the pedestal as needed! 😉
When I was in the hospital for a month to undergo a stem cell transplant (for MDS), several of my nurses teased me about being so upbeat. I wasn't feeling too good, but complaining about it made me feel worse. When it was time to leave the hospital, I was terrified because I wasn't ready to care for myself. Daily trips to the clinic for blood draws and infusions helped me adjust. But as those have dwindled off, I do kind of miss the intense attention. I thought I was crazy!
A thoughtful and thought-provoking piece as always, Stacy, thank you.
As someone who never complained, didn't asked very many questions at all, and was fairly optimistic throughout chemo and surgery, I too wonder if there's more. I just don't know what it might be. I wonder if you'll write more on this topic.
Thank you, Barry. I'm mulling it over and hoped to get some feedback here in the comments. I updated the post with a story that a chaplain shared with me. It's not a "normal" human interaction but I'm not sure we every acknowledge that?
Did you feel like you could talk to the doctor about how you were feeling?
That's interesting, Emily and exactly what I wondered.
The doctor-patient relationship is a strange one that neither party chooses yet is so important. The performative aspect on both sides can hinder communication and impact treatment. Yet we never have a DTR conversation. Should we? And when?
The brave face put on for friends and family is another discussion entirely. I wrote about it in one of my first posts around the time the Barbie movie came out.
Thank you for commenting!