“Think about how to advocate for yourself without being rude.” The first oncologist I went to - not 48 hours post diagnosis - was such a condescending asshole. I was absolutely stunned. How on earth could I trust this man when his bedside manner was beyond terrible? I refused to believe I had to accept his behavior - so I didn’t. The 2nd oncologist couldn’t even look at me. Again. How could I trust her? Her NP was much more open and forthcoming. I pressed the oncologist on why I needed certain treatments she was recommending. I wasn’t trying to be argumentative or a know it all - I was just curious (and of course that curiosity was probably driven by absolute fear of what I had to endure). She ended up taking my case to the tumor board and they stated that in fact I didn’t need that course of treatment she was proposing. I finally asked an acquaintance who had been through it who her doc was - and thankfully, I’ve been in his care ever since. He is an amazing partner in my healthcare - and I couldn’t be more grateful and trust him implicitly. It’s hard to manage the emotional distress of the decisions we have to make along with - what feels like - interviewing professionals that are tasked with saving our lives.
So helpful! A patient asked me about sending questions ahead of her upcoming follow up appointment via the EMR. I would love that but I'm not sure it would work for every doc?
I like what you said about it being an interview. That first consultation is a very high stakes interview! And sometimes it doesn’t go well as you unfortunately experienced. I’m so glad you found a physician that you trust.
“Think about how to advocate for yourself without being rude.” The first oncologist I went to - not 48 hours post diagnosis - was such a condescending asshole. I was absolutely stunned. How on earth could I trust this man when his bedside manner was beyond terrible? I refused to believe I had to accept his behavior - so I didn’t. The 2nd oncologist couldn’t even look at me. Again. How could I trust her? Her NP was much more open and forthcoming. I pressed the oncologist on why I needed certain treatments she was recommending. I wasn’t trying to be argumentative or a know it all - I was just curious (and of course that curiosity was probably driven by absolute fear of what I had to endure). She ended up taking my case to the tumor board and they stated that in fact I didn’t need that course of treatment she was proposing. I finally asked an acquaintance who had been through it who her doc was - and thankfully, I’ve been in his care ever since. He is an amazing partner in my healthcare - and I couldn’t be more grateful and trust him implicitly. It’s hard to manage the emotional distress of the decisions we have to make along with - what feels like - interviewing professionals that are tasked with saving our lives.
One of my patients always came with a post card with his questions and medication refills typed on it which was immensely helpful for us both.
So helpful! A patient asked me about sending questions ahead of her upcoming follow up appointment via the EMR. I would love that but I'm not sure it would work for every doc?
I like what you said about it being an interview. That first consultation is a very high stakes interview! And sometimes it doesn’t go well as you unfortunately experienced. I’m so glad you found a physician that you trust.