Indeed. I am not in a position of leadership, and I listen carefully to everyone, especially those with more experience than me.
Being a leader seems to take a lot of skill when it comes to interacting with people. Honestly, I am not sure I would ever want to lead because of how tricky this communication becomes.
Thank you. I have frequently faced similar dynamics in my own field (literary publishing and academia) and it was illuminating to see how you handle this type of dynamic in oncology. Your response--both the initial longer response replete with a deluge of information, as well as the scaled back version you sent--really resonated with me, as well as how much extra thought and effort it all entails. Exhausting! I truly appreciated reading this and raise my glass to you in solidarity from the humanities.
As a stage 4 cancer pt. 5.5 years now, I wish you’d sent the first two responses to that asshat. My trust in my Stanford doctor’s researched choices is based in them answering my questions fully. I bring in books and articles and share TED talks. And they listen. Then explain what I missed or promise they will explore further. Or work with my naturopath or… you are not obligated to educate idiots. But I’m glad you are kind enough to do so. Now consider sending him a link to your article? The best education I can imagine. Hugs and happy holy days. Cynthia an admirer
I’ve actually got to the point where I step back, punctuate consciousness with a brief inhale - recognise the “person” and go about my business. I’m not a doctor obviously but people are everywhere - they don’t think, they don’t know how. I edited this to replace the word "idiot" with people 😏
thank you so much. Went through my second bc last year (first was 2020, second was dx last year). Different cancers, different breasts. I feel fortunate to have GREAT doctors, 2 are women including my surgeon. I greatly appreciate she can quickly and definitively answer a question I may have, and provide the backup research for it. The only thing about having it twice was that I had the same team. I don't think I'd appreciate having someone else's input. It sucks that it got questioned and that you had to waste your extremely valuable time thinking of how to respond, because, as you said, we do as women. At my surgery follow up recently, she asked if I wanted to have an interpreter (?) or something of the sort in the appointment = and I asked what that was (not for language, to help explain things. !!!) I was like....well, you explain things perfectly fine and no thanks. She kind of rolled her eyes and said, that's the response all of my patients had but I have to ask. I'm thinking, WTH? Why don't they ask her what's needed? It certainly isn't that. It WOULD have been helpful to have a navigator as they didn't have that either time, OR counseling available in a timely manner - I said yes to it but they only contacted me after I finished treatment....anyway - thanks again.
It sounds like you have AWESOME doctors. And yes, that does sound like a very strange question for your doctor to ask. I 100% agree that navigation and counseling should be offered up front.
So long to respond, been a busy month. Just to be clear, it was something she was told to ask her patients. All of here hoops you physicals have to jump through! She is at a large university cancer center. Thanks for all you do
I think it’s very interesting that this behavior occurs to the extent that it does . I don’t think it’s strictly male->female. I’m not a MD- I’m an RN in a public school setting. In that capacity I’ve had paraprofessionals question nursing judgment, paras stating that they’re actually “just like teachers”, etc. in addition to that, I’ve had plenty of run ins with dental receptionists (!) who seem to think they’re the dentist. It seems widespread - I wonder if it’s ever been researched ?
Nice!! Direct, to the point, friendly. Not intimidating, but not inviting more discussion. That’s threading one of those tiny needles!!
Indeed. I am not in a position of leadership, and I listen carefully to everyone, especially those with more experience than me.
Being a leader seems to take a lot of skill when it comes to interacting with people. Honestly, I am not sure I would ever want to lead because of how tricky this communication becomes.
Thank you. I have frequently faced similar dynamics in my own field (literary publishing and academia) and it was illuminating to see how you handle this type of dynamic in oncology. Your response--both the initial longer response replete with a deluge of information, as well as the scaled back version you sent--really resonated with me, as well as how much extra thought and effort it all entails. Exhausting! I truly appreciated reading this and raise my glass to you in solidarity from the humanities.
I love your sardonic sense of humor and your ability to travel the road between lady doctors and the other kind and the younger vs older types too.
As a stage 4 cancer pt. 5.5 years now, I wish you’d sent the first two responses to that asshat. My trust in my Stanford doctor’s researched choices is based in them answering my questions fully. I bring in books and articles and share TED talks. And they listen. Then explain what I missed or promise they will explore further. Or work with my naturopath or… you are not obligated to educate idiots. But I’m glad you are kind enough to do so. Now consider sending him a link to your article? The best education I can imagine. Hugs and happy holy days. Cynthia an admirer
LOL. Thank you, Cynthia.
I’ve actually got to the point where I step back, punctuate consciousness with a brief inhale - recognise the “person” and go about my business. I’m not a doctor obviously but people are everywhere - they don’t think, they don’t know how. I edited this to replace the word "idiot" with people 😏
thank you so much. Went through my second bc last year (first was 2020, second was dx last year). Different cancers, different breasts. I feel fortunate to have GREAT doctors, 2 are women including my surgeon. I greatly appreciate she can quickly and definitively answer a question I may have, and provide the backup research for it. The only thing about having it twice was that I had the same team. I don't think I'd appreciate having someone else's input. It sucks that it got questioned and that you had to waste your extremely valuable time thinking of how to respond, because, as you said, we do as women. At my surgery follow up recently, she asked if I wanted to have an interpreter (?) or something of the sort in the appointment = and I asked what that was (not for language, to help explain things. !!!) I was like....well, you explain things perfectly fine and no thanks. She kind of rolled her eyes and said, that's the response all of my patients had but I have to ask. I'm thinking, WTH? Why don't they ask her what's needed? It certainly isn't that. It WOULD have been helpful to have a navigator as they didn't have that either time, OR counseling available in a timely manner - I said yes to it but they only contacted me after I finished treatment....anyway - thanks again.
It sounds like you have AWESOME doctors. And yes, that does sound like a very strange question for your doctor to ask. I 100% agree that navigation and counseling should be offered up front.
So long to respond, been a busy month. Just to be clear, it was something she was told to ask her patients. All of here hoops you physicals have to jump through! She is at a large university cancer center. Thanks for all you do
Thank you for your engaging note, Betsy.
An interpreter .. omg ( eye roll 🙄) …..
You deserve validation and a genuine hug!
Coming from a lady lawyer- you threaded that needle perfectly.
I think it’s very interesting that this behavior occurs to the extent that it does . I don’t think it’s strictly male->female. I’m not a MD- I’m an RN in a public school setting. In that capacity I’ve had paraprofessionals question nursing judgment, paras stating that they’re actually “just like teachers”, etc. in addition to that, I’ve had plenty of run ins with dental receptionists (!) who seem to think they’re the dentist. It seems widespread - I wonder if it’s ever been researched ?
Or feedback on Cancer Survival Rates Across Time?:
https://federicosotodelalba.substack.com/p/on-cancer-survival-rates-from-our?r=4up0lp
Oh, how about help filling my Poll for physicians!.
https://federicosotodelalba.substack.com/p/medical-overdiagnosis?r=4up0lp